Laugh Free, Or Die Hard

The Happy Shell - Writing Humor (CCOM 1019)

Biff Mitchell's The Happy Shell is a four week foray into the funny bone of life. Merciless flash fiction writing exercises will drain your soul and leave you an empty shell ... but a happy shell ... a shell immersed in the fine art of neither overtelling nor undertelling. Your shell will know how to incorporate humor into a work of fiction, a poem, a speech, a marriage proposal.

Your shell will be invited to parties and encouraged to say funny things. Your shell will learn the Five Ways to Bring the House Down, and the Ten Deadly Sins that Kill a Good Joke.

Note: The desire to make 'em laugh might help a lot in this workshop.

Instructor: Biff Mitchell

Date and duration: Tuesdays, May 6 – 27 (4 weeks)
Time: 6:30 - 8:30 p.m.
Location: TBA

Course fee: $100 (+HST)

Change of Grand Finale Venue for Words of the People

The grand finale venue for Words of the People has been changed from Memorial Hall to Windsor Castle (formerly Alden Nowlan House) at 676 Windsor Street. There will still be a BlackTop MotorCycle Gang reading raid and a poetry slam.

Schedule for Words of the People 12 Hour Read-a-Thon

Here's the schedule so far …

All of these events are open to anyone except the special event readings: Lloyd Salomone's script reading and the Qwerty readings. If you want to register for a reading (which means you get to read first) send an email to wordsofthepeople@gmail.com specifying which venue(s) in which you want to read.

Steps of Science East (9 am) Readings from letters, diaries and postcards (bring out the family lore and your own personal experiences) (this will be an outdoor Freeze & Read)

Officer's Square (10 am) This will be an outdoor Freeze & Read where anything goes … poetry, singing, prose, if you can read it or sing it, then bring it.

Trinitea's Cup (11 am) Readings on the topic of tea (poems, stories, tea lore) including a reading from "The Book of Tea."

Doodles (1 pm) Children's readings featuring artist and children's author Kim Vose Jones (open mic readings from children and adults)

Fredericton Public Library (2 pm) Children's readings (from children and adults)

Fredericton Public Library (1:30 pm ) Filmmaker Lloyd Salomone reads the script to his upcoming documentary followed with Q&A

Read's Coffee Shop and Bookstore (1 pm) Blogs, Facebook, anything Internet

Crumbs (2 pm) Coffee shop lit (stories and poems set in coffee shops, cafes, coffee houses)

Savages Bike Shop (1 pm) Sports lit (skateboarding stories, biking, hockey, sports biographies, all things sports)

Art + Concepts (3 pm) featuring author, artist and educator WhiteFeather. Various artist on what inspires their art

Molly's Coffee Shop (2 pm) River and nature lit featuring Nanook of the Nashwaak and Dino Kubik

Green Turtle Clothing (2 pm) Readings from the Changing Room (read anything you want, but you'll be in a changing room while you read)

Gallery Connexion (2 pm) The six word short story ("Found him. Married him. Oh shit!" from Margaret Atwood) and revenge romance (someone breaks your heart? Send a postcard telling about your new love … from the Bahamas ending with "glad you're not here" or just a story about your ex boiling in oil)

Westminster Books (2 pm) Readings from the Qwerty folks

Owl's Nest Book Store (2 pm) Grab & Read (just take a book off on of the many shelves, take it to the reading area, and read)

Alden Nowlan House (aka Windsor Castle) 676 Windsor Street (9 pm) BlackTop MotorCycle Gang reading raid and poetry slam, with special guest Beth Powning (http://www.powning.com/beth/index.php) (the BTMG will be accepting new members with the main qualifier that you must be weird) (the poetry slam will be open to the public)

The Maritime Writers’ Workshop Hosts the Words of the People 12 Hour Read-a-Thon

FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE

March 7, 2008

The Maritime Writers’ Workshop Hosts the Words of the People 12 Hour Read-a-Thon

Summary: On March 29, the Maritime Writers’ Workshop and Literary Festival will host the second annual Words of the People 12 Hour Read-a-Thon in Fredericton. The event will begin at 9 AM and continue at venues throughout the city with a grand finale poetry slam, beginning at 9 PM at Windsor Castle.

(Fredericton, March 5, 2008) Freddie Beach is in for an explosion of words and literature of every possible type from poetry and songs to blogs and six word short stories as galleries, coffee shops, bars, restaurants, and parks around the city host readers and writers of every type. The event is the Words of the People 12 Hour Read-a-Thon sponsored by the Maritime Writers’ Workshop and Literary Festival.

Held in April of 2007 as the No Limits 12 Hour Read-a-Thon, the event will be held in 2008 on Saturday, March 29 with an expanded offering of reading categories for both amateur and professional writers – and for anyone who just wants to get out and read in front of an audience from their favorite book or television ad.

“We want this to be a day when the people of Fredericton can have a voice with whatever type of literature turns them on the most,” said event organizer Biff Mitchell. “We’ll have venues for children’s literature, blogging, humor, emails, letters from home, postcards, screenplays, poetry, short fiction, river stories, favorite Facebook status updates, sports writing … everything.”

The Read-a-Thon made its debut last year with over 30 readers and over 100 listeners meeting in art galleries, bars, coffee shops, the Fredericton Public Library, and outdoors throughout the city.

“We had people reading from book marks and coffee cans at one point,” said Mr. Mitchell. “This year, we’ll have a catch-all venue for literary genres that defy description. For instance, has anyone done a formal reading on tattoo literature? This is their chance.”

The readings will start at 9 AM by the Brunswick Street entrance to the Boise Farmers Market, continue throughout the day, and end at Windsor Castle (aka Alden Nowlan House) on Windsor Street with a BlackTop MotorCycle Gang reading raid followed by a poetry slam open to the public.

The Words of the People 12 Hour Read-a-Thon will promote the Maritime Writers’ Workshop and Literary Festival. “This year, we’re doing something different with the Writers’ Workshop,” said Alison Howells, Program Development Officer at the UNB Art Centre. “We're reaching out to local talent so that we can offer more variety with shorter and more topical workshops, such as cyber punk fiction and writing humor. We want the Workshop to be more accessible to the general public and more responsive to their interests."

Categories of reading so far include poetry, prose fiction, prose non-fiction, journalism, art talks, letters, journals, postcard and diaries, the six word short story, blogs and Facebook, essays, river literature, sports writing, children’s writing, humor, business writing, favorite emails, café and coffee shop writing, screenplays and theatre scripts, favorite ads from TV, the Web, radio, magazines, newspapers, monologues, musical lyrics, ballads, science fiction and fantasy, and a catch-all event where anything goes.

Readers can sign up by sending an email to wordsofthepeople@gmail.com with their name and what category (or categories) they would like to enter. Local businesses, galleries, cafes, bars, bookstores, or other organizations can use this email or call 455-2433 and leave a message if they wish to sponsor a reading.

Contact:

Words of the People 12 Hour Read-a-Thon
Biff Mitchell
455-BIFF (2433)
biff@biffmitchell.com

The Maritime Writers' Workshop and Literary Festival
Alison Howells
UNB Art Centre
452-6360
ahowells@unb.ca

The Sparkling Truth

This is a sparkle ...

It will never go away. It will always be with me. I'll vacuum it up. I'll dust it up. I'll pick it up. I'll wash it out. I foam it away. I'll buy a goddam flame thrower and burn the fucking thing out.

The next day, the little prick will be back.

This sparkle came from a party I went to on New Years. Here's what happened. It was early in the evening. Everybody was excited about the new year ... and the party. It was festive. And what better companion to "festive" than "sparkle," close cousin to "glitter." The hostesses became literally fountains of sparkle, spewing forth the glitter and shine onto the ornaments, the walls, the works of art, the floors ... and the people.

They sparkle-washed their guests' faces. No one was safe. They waited in hiding, fists clenched around balls of compressed sparkles ready to explode into unwary faces ... and the unwary were many.

The sparkles made their way into the 2008 New Year on the guests' clothing, in their hair (where, I swear, they propagated faster than head lice on steroids), in their ears, in their noses and eye lashes, in their shoes, on their shoes, under their shoes ... in their crotches. Never underestimate the penetration power of sparkles.

They made their way into the homes, the cars, the workplaces of the guests. I noticed my first sparkles New Years Day, littering a section of my bed. I smiled. Quaint, I thought. My bed's sparkling. Next, I saw the trail of sparkles leading from my bed, down the hall and out the door. There were sparkles in the kitchen. The washroom. On the walls. How did they get on the walls? They were in my clothing, They were in my hair (not for long though ... I had my hair cut down to the scalp that night). I found them under my fingernails, lodged in my teeth, dangling from my ears, embedded in my belly button. I staggered to the washroom to empty out the three bottles of wine I'd drunk the night before. Yep, it sparkled.

Over the following weeks, I found sparkles in my car, in my keyboard at work, in the elevator where I work, in my mailbox ... they were everywhere. They permeated my life. A month after the party, I blew my nose. There on the Kleenex ... a sparkle.

I swear, everyone who went to that party will be shitting sparkles for the rest of their lives. Next New Years, I'm going to a party where they just drop a ten thousand pound weight on your head and get on with it.